EPISODE 17: Part Two

Pam’s House

Pam sat in the chair in the living room alone deep in contemplation. She couldn’t believe that this nightmare was finally over and she was free. She really didn’t no how long she could have gone on locked away in that prison. She had been denied bail due to fact that she had helped Chris leave the country, so she had been deemed a high risk and they had kept her locked away. Pam got a shudder down her spine just thinking about being back there and she knew in her heart that she had done the right thing sparing Christopher that ordeal.

However Pam knew that things were still not right, she hadn’t had any contact with Christopher in months, Cliff was still lying in a coma, and as for Becky well her visits had been sporadic to say the least and she really wasn’t sure what was going on with her and then there was Bobby. She couldn’t bear to have him visit her in prison so she had refused his visitation requests. She was so confused, she still loved him and missed him more then anything but at the same time she was still furious with the way he acted. He hadn’t supported her and Christopher and refused to listen to reason and somewhere deep down inside of her she knew that Bobby doubted both her and Chris’s innocence and for that she just didn’t no if she could forgive him. But she still loved him and it just went round and round in her head. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, which brought Pam back to reality. She opened the door to find Bobby standing in front of her

“Bobby” she said

“I heard about what happened, I just came to see if you’re okay, can I come in or are you still refusing to see me,” Bobby said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Pam stepped aside and Bobby walked in and took a seat.

“It’s good to see you Pam, you should have let me visit you in there, I hired a lawyer for you but the son of a bitch wouldn’t see me either.

“That was on my say so Bobby, I didn’t want you getting involved so I told Brett to keep you away.”

“Didn’t want me to get involved!” Bobby’s voice rose. “You hide my son away from the police.”

“Our son!” Pamela snapped back.

“Do you know what kind of position that put me in with the family. You make Chris look guilty and then I am supposed to try and justify to JR and Mama why Chris had run away.”

“A typical Ewing, everything is not always all about you. I did what was right for Chris, going to prison was hell and I am glad I spared Chris having to go through that. Now I am sorry if that made you uncomfortable with your precious family but that’s just too bad.”

“So that’s what you want to teach our son is it? To be a coward and run away from his problems.”

“This had nothing to do with male pride Bobby, it had to do with the fact that the police were planning to arrest him for murder, a murder he didn’t commit and I wasn’t about to let that happen.”

“But if he was innocent then we had nothing to worry about we could have fought it together as a family.”

“If! if he was innocent, that just about sums it up doesn’t it. You were never quite sure was you about Chris’s or my innocence!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” snapped back defensively.

“So how did you feel when you found out it was JR’s doing all along?”

“What does that mean?”

“Well who else do you think Wendell was getting at when he did this? He may have framed me for Anita’s murder, but do you really think that was anything to do with me. It was just a sick way to hurt JR and ruin the Ewing’s.”

Bobby knew he couldn’t say what he was really feeling without blowing the whole thing sky high so he took a deep breath and then spoke.

“Look this is getting us know where, I just wanted to see that you were okay and to know where our son is.” Bobby said in a quieter, hurt tone.

“How should I know, I’m not his keeper” Pam replied then paused and slowly touched Bobby’s hand.

Bobby looked at her, he thought back to 26 years ago when he first brought her to Southfork. He had loved her so much, and yet pressures from the family had brought about their downfall. She was and always would be a Barnes and a Ewing and a Barnes just didn’t work. Maybe if they had moved away from Southfork things might have been different.

“How did we get to this Pam?” he asked

“I don’t know” she replied softly “I don’t know

“All those years ago when I first brought you to Southfork, I loved you so much, I didn’t care what the family thought. I believed that nothing could ever come between us,” he said.

“I thought we were strong enough to beat whatever pressure both our families put us under, but we weren’t” Pam said

“But we loved each other, we never stopped” Bobby said.

“I know but it wasn’t enough” Pam said “I don’t know what happened, after suffering the miscarriages and then finding out my father wasn’t my father, my life fell apart”

“But I supported you” Bobby said

“You didn’t approve of me trying to find my mother” She replied

“No because I thought it was too soon after Digger’s death, you were still grieving for him” Bobby said

“So I had to do it alone!” she replied “Then you decide you want to leave Southfork after Jock sided with JR over closing down the oilfields that Cliff had a share in, but JR got shot and we had to go back to Southfork.”

“He was my brother, the family needed me” Bobby said

“The family, the Ewing’s and Ewing Oil that’s all that mattered wasn’t it?” she replied

“That’s not true!” Bobby said, “I’m not JR”

Pam looked at him, of course he wasn’t JR, but when it came down to it, he was a Ewing and the Ewing’s always came first regardless of anyone else.

“If we are going to start pointing out mistakes then I think you need to take a look at yourself also. You left both Christopher and I alone, you stopped fighting for us, do you realised what that did to a eight year old child” Bobby said

“I thought it was for the best,” Pam said

“Best for who, it definitely wasn’t what Christopher or I wanted” Bobby said

“Bobby I thought I was dying, did you really want to subject your son to seeing his mother die?” Pam asked

“It would have been better than him thinking that his mother didn’t love him anymore” Bobby said

“That isn’t true I never stopped loving Christopher,” She said

“He didn’t think that, beside you didn’t die” Bobby said

“Do you wish I had” Pam asked

Bobby was horrified at her question, of course he hadn’t wanted her dead, he just hadn’t wanted her to leave like that without any real reason.

“No” Bobby said “but you could have stayed with us, we could have worked things out, but no, you decide to run away”

Pam was silent; she couldn’t find anything to say. She thought she had done the right thing, leaving Bobby and Christopher when she did, so they wouldn’t have to face the fact that she was going to die.

“It’s too late to put right the past” Pam said “But what about the future?”

Bobby looked at her, just at this moment they didn’t have a future, Bobby realised that he still hadn’t forgiven her for the years that she abandoned him and Christopher, and now she wasn’t telling him where their son was”

“Pam, you walk back into our lives as if nothing has happened and I have tried to make it work, but I think one thing this whole mess as shown me is that I am not over what happened in the past. The way I feel about you hiding Christopher away was fuelled by the anger that I still have for the way you left us. ” Bobby said

“Have we got a future together?” Pam asked

Bobby thought for a moment “I don’t know, I know I have never and will never love anyone like I love you, but I really don’t know if that’s enough anymore.”

Pam turned away from him; she felt as though she had finally lost him for good, nothing she said would convince him that she wanted him back.

“Why did you come here today?” she asked

“To check that you were okay and to see if you would tell me where my son is,” he answered

“Truthfully I don’t know, he is in Europe but he’s not been in touch for a long time. I’m sorry.” Pam said

“If you hear from him.”

“I’ll let you know.” Pam said

Bobby stood up and turned and walked towards the door. As he opened the door he took one final look at Pam, they had both changed, there was a time when he would have done anything for her, but now they felt like strangers. For the first time he realised that he had changed just as much as Pam had over the years they were apart and in a lot of ways now they were like strangers, this situation demonstrated that. He stepped outside, not turning around to say goodbye, as he knew if he did he might not walk out the door and in his heart he knew for now walking away was the right thing to do.

A deserted road near Mountain Creek Lake outside Dallas

Dean pressed his foot down on the accelerator on his brand new Dodge Viper and picking up speed hurtled down the empty road. With the roof down and the wind rushing through his hair and the stereo blasting out the latest 50 Cents CD Dean felt on top of the world. He had dealt with his money problems by way of pawning some of the 'princess's' jewellery and as soon as he got on back on his feet he would replace it and she would never now the difference. For the fist time in a long while he felt free, invincible and the set of wheels from his wife had been the icing on the cake, Now all he needed to do was deal with his one outstanding problem and he would be A okay. Dean took one of his hands of the steering wheel and slowly let it slide up the leg of his companion and up over her breast, pulling her towards him he kissed her deeply. Pulling apart from their embrace Dean concentrated his eyes back on the road, keeping his hand free he quickly pulled Margaret's summer vest up over her head and threw it on the back seat.

"You are crazy!" Margaret said.

"You better believe it baby," Dean said throwing his head back and letting out a holler from the back of his throat.

Margaret flung her arms up and releasing her hair let it fly into the air, she slowly began to sit up in the seat till she was half standing up and began to chant along to the CD letting her body move to the rhythm. Dean hit the volume on the CD up and then he undid his seat belt, he moved towards her and unfastened the back of Margaret's bra, swiftly releasing her breasts. Caressing her voluptuous form he pulled her into another embrace, this time Margaret moved her body towards him and the pair kissed again. Slowly letting his foot of the accelerator Dean began to undo his jeans and then releasing himself he caressed her. Following suit Margaret did the same and then gradually moved her self onto Deans lap, coming together the pair fell into a comfortable rhythm and as Dean gradually began to press his foot back down, the car began to pick up speed as the couple became lost in the their physical union.

Krebb's Ranch

Donna was working downstairs on her environmental work, since Sue Ellen had decided to stay in Dallas they had had an idea to set a base up in Dallas and so she was trying to get this proposal ready so she could send it off by the morning to Washington. Suddenly she heard a crash coming from upstairs, she quickly got out of her chair and ran upstairs. Going into the bedroom she found Ray lying on the floor. She went towards him to help him get up but Ray pushed her away.

“What were you trying to do?” she asked

“Trying to get into this stupid wheelchair, what do you think I was doing” Ray answered

“But if you had shouted I would have come to help you” She said “I know you said you didn’t want a nurse or a occupational therapist here to live in, but you do need some help.”

Ray looked at her; he saw a look of pity in her eyes, it was the last thing he wanted to see.

“I don’t want your help, why don’t you just go back to whatever is was you were doing” he shouted

“Ray I love you” She said

“Just leave me alone!” he shouted, “How can you love me now”

Donna sat down on the bed. Since he had returned from the hospital, life with Ray had been unbearable. He was unreachable and kept trying to push the rest of the family away. She just wanted to be there for him but she didn’t know how much more she could take.

“Ray, what happened was awful but it doesn’t change the way I feel about you” she said

“Donna, forget it, why don’t you go to Washington, maybe you’ll meet someone there who can be more of a man than I can,” he said

“Ray, stop doing this, stop pushing me away! You need your family with you” Donna cried

“I don’t want anyone, you should have left me in that building to die” Ray said angrily.

“Is that what you really wanted, to die and not get to see your daughter and son grow up?” Donna asked

Ray tried to lift himself onto the bed, but seeing him struggling Donna went to help him, he again pushed her away.

“Donna, I told you, I don’t want your help, leave me alone” he shouted

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said

“Get out of here! Will you just get out!” Ray demanded.

Managing to pull him self up onto the bed Ray sat with his back turned towards Donna. She stood by the door looking at him in silence. Abruptly Ray picked up his stick and threw it across the room missing her only by inches. A bedside cabinet that had Donnas vanity mirror on was the sticks final destination and it hit the mirror shattering it across the room

“I told you Donna, just get the hell out!” he shouted.

“You may feel less of a man because of your injury, but the only thing that is making you weak and cowardly is your dam behaviour” Donna yelled back.

Looking at the broken mirror around her feet Donna spoke again in a quite voice.

“Shame on you.”

She turned and left the room leaving Ray sat alone, a tear of pain and frustration fell from his eye as his hand absent-mindedly dropped to the place where his leg once was.

A condor downtown Dallas

Becky and Katherine were seated in Katherine’s condor having an intense conversation.

"So you just shot him?"

"Umm huh"

"Unfreaking believable."

"Well you know what they say a woman scorned."

"I think you were taking that whole thing a little bit to far, though don't you?"

"Yes, well you have to understand that I was unwell then. I wasn’t thinking rationally in fact I haven't been of lucid thought for a long time, that’s why now it feels like I have awoken from some long sleep."

"But everybody who has mental health problems don't go around trying to kill their enemies and wreaking havoc on the people around them."

"You'd be surprised. I am not trying to justify myself or my actions but it's amazing when you sit in a group therapy session and hear peoples stories that you realise that you are not some mad freak of nature but just someone who has been defeated by their neurosis.

Becky nodded her head in understanding; this wasn't the first time that she had quizzed Katherine about her past, she was trying to understand what had happened in the past to make her aunt behave the way she had.

"Where did all the hatred stem from, you know for Pam and my dad?"

"Jealousy, grief for my mothers death, I had a really close relationship with my mother, in fact when I look back it was only that relationship that kept me form loosing it at an earlier age. So when Pam and Cliff turned up I felt threatened and then when she died I felt all alone and I guess I blamed them for her death. If they hadn’t come along then we would have stayed in Houston together and none of what happened would have occurred. I think as time went by I just lost a grip on reality, I hated your farther because I saw him as weak and it was his business dealings that my mum was involved with that made her be on the plane in the first place. With Pam it was just pure jealousy, she had every thing that I wanted a child, a husband the whole lot and I had nothing so I set out to take it all away from her. I think I believed that if I could take her place in Bobby’s live then I would be happy and all the noise in my head and the pain I felt would be over. Of course that was crap but I wanted to believe it so badly..”

“I can’t believe that you never got help before now, didn’t anyone ever try to help you?”

“Like who? I was all alone, have been for years. I have pushed away anyone who ever tried to get close to me. I suppose in some way it was my way of clinging on to my psychosis, you see I had been that way for so long that if anybody tried to break through and reach me I panicked. That’s what happened with Pam when was in Kansas, I was taking care of her whilst she was recuperating and became stronger in her remission. But again the old feelings took over me and soon as she became stronger I felt her need for me slipping and I wanted her dependant on me to need me and so I made it that she did require me, what I did that time well it’s amazing they didn’t throw away the key.”

“Well it would seem that money can buy you anything even freedom.” Becky said her voice hardening.

“Your right and this time I have no excuses, when JR came and offered me a chance of freedom I took it. I knew that the only reason he could want my half of the company was to get at it Cliff but,” Katherine paused and sighed deeply and then continued “I didn’t care I guess is the honest answer. I just wanted to get out of prison and on with my life. I felt right again for the first time in years, I felt clear of mind and all I wanted was to get out. I had ideas to return to New York and pick up my journalism career again, I knew the Barnes and Ewing’s would continue fighting each other regardless of me and I just wanted to get out. I never dreamed that Cliff would..”

“Well he did, you gave JR the tool to destroy him again.”

“I know and there is nothing I can do or say to take it back, but well I am here, I am still here and I will help you in anyway you want. I can’t change the past but the future is in my control, our control.”

Becky nodded and the two women looked at each other in silence both deep in their own thoughts.

“But you didn’t intend to though, so if you hadn’t heard about him been in the hospital you wouldn’t have come back.”

“Absolutely not, I talked a lot to Grace about trying to make amends, but there are something’s that just are unforgivable.”

“Grace, the prison therapist.”

“Yes, she made me understand that I had to forgive myself first and then move on. I mean after everything I have put Cliff and especially Pam through the kindest thing was to walk away and leave them in peace. Seeking their forgiveness was something I would be doing for my own selfish reasons and not for them.”

“God it’s all so messed up! Now Pam is out of prison I need to try and explain to her about you and then there is JR obviously the bomb blast has put heed to his initial plans but I am waiting, any day now he is going to turn up and demand me to return to Southfork with him.”

“Leave JR to me, if he turns up I will take care of him.”

“How? With the evidence he packed on me he stitched me up good and proper. With my track record no court will believe me.”

“There are ways and means to deal with the likes of JR Ewing don’t you worry.”

“Well I guess if you say so then I shall have to believe you because being seven months pregnant I feel like all the fight has gone out of me.”

“Don’t worry, you’ve got me on your side now and I can still kick ass even if I am now medically sane again. I may no longer be packing a pistol or a syringe of cyanide but I don’t have a heart of gold and I won’t be growing one anytime soon. I may be thinking rationally now but I still get down and fight in the gutter if I have to, only this time I will be fighting on the right side.”

Becky got a shiver down her spine as she caught the look on Katherine’s face, not for the first time the doubts she felt about her aunt crossed her mind. Becky stood up and walked over to where her coat was hung up.

“Okay well I better get on and get to the hospital and I will speak to you later on, okay?”

“Okay sugar.”

The two women hugged and Becky left the apartment leaving Katherine alone. As Katherine went to sit back down and switch on the TV the phone rang and she picked up the receiver.

“Hello.”

Katherine listened to the person on the other end of the line introduce themselves and then spoke again.

“So you eventually tracked me down I see…. Look don’t speak to me that way I would have thought it would be clear why I haven’t contacted you…. Okay well you can come tonight to see me but make sure know one sees you enter the building we have to be very careful how we play this…Okay don’t get defensive we’ll speak tonight.”

Katherine hung up the handset and groaned out loud and then flopped back on the chair and put her head in her hands.

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