EPISODE 21
"When a Child is Born"
Pamela's home
Pam stood at the door in shock staring at Katherine. After several seconds she snapped into action and tried to slam the door in the face of the surprise guest. Katherine moved her foot in the way and blocked the door.
“Pamela please can we talk.”
“There is nothing you have to say that I want or need to hear,” Pamela replied.
“Well I am not leaving until you hear me out.”
Pamela stared Katherine and refused to soften or allow her entry. Katherine passed the parcel containing Rebecca's watch to Pamela.
“Please.” she said
Pamela moved over to the front veranda and sat and opened the package. After several minutes of holding the watch she beckoned Katherine to sit down next to her.
“You are not and never will be welcome in my house, but I will give you 10 minutes of my time and hear you out. But this is not for you it's for my momma and her memory.”
Katherine nodded her understanding and sat down beside and began to tell Pamela her story. Katherine spoke of her guilt and the regret she felt. She explained to Pam about her therapy and how she was beginning to understand her feelings and the mental illness that had caused her to act the way she had. The way the grief for her mother had made her feel. How threatened she felt by Pam and Cliff's presence and the intense hatred that had fuelled her every action.
Pam looked intently at her sister throughout with an emotionless face. When Katherine had finally finished talking the two fell once again into silence staring at each other. Katherine could feel the emotion and the pressure filling up inside her and a tear fell down her face as stared into her sister's eyes.
“Well Becky may have bought this story of yours but I am afraid it isn't washing with me.”
“What else can I say to convince you?”
“Nothing, nothing you can say can convince me. You have lied, cheated stolen and tried to kill me. Do you think I am so weak that I will keep taking you back?”
“But we are family, sisters does that mean nothing.”
“Family! Family!” Pam snapped, “ Family's don't hate each other, don't spend their lives plotting the downfall of each other!”
“I take you haven't met the Ewing's then?” Katherine replied.
Pamela looked at Katherine and for a moment felt her resolve falter, almost felt a smile creep into her face. She sighed however and continued.
“Look it's too late you can't take back what you have done even if you are being genuine. It's too late.”
“But I know you could with some support, what with Christopher and everything with Bobby.”
“Pamela bristled at the name of her son and husband.
“Meaning?”
“Well I know you are separated form Bobby again and I am guessing I am the last person you would want to talk to about that,” Katherine said with a half chuckle. “But Becky told me about Chris coming out and I know you must be confused and emotional about it.”
“Why are you an expert on gay issues now as well? Pam retorted, “Well you have been in prison for quite a while I suppose you may have had a change of lifestyle.”
Straight away Pam felt guilty for her comment, she wasn't homophobic but…
“So you are fine with it then? Not blaming yourself at all?”
"Maybe I do think there is something I could have done to stop it" Pamela
said staring into space.
"Pamela...homosexuality is not something that can be stopped...to the best
of my knowledge, it's determined from quite a young age..."
"Yes, he says he's always known...I just thought well..." Pamela paused.
"Go on" Katherine urged.
"Well if I had been here..."
Katherine shook her head. "I don't think so Pamela...it doesn't work like
that"
"And if Christopher had had more suitable role models when I wasn't
here...."
Katherine looked confused.“Well you visited me when I was in the hospital and then all those years you spent lying to me whilst we were living in Kansas. If you hadn't been such a selfish bitch then you could have been here helping him. You see there is so much that you didn't, haven't done. It's not just all the things you have done it's all the things you should have done but didn't.”
Suddenly a phone ringing in the house disturbed the conversation and Pamela stood up and went inside the house. After several moments Pamela came back out with her coat on.
“It's Becky she has had the baby…
Krebb's Ranch
Donna was busying sorting through a mound of paper work, transferring her projects over form the environmental project was more complex then she had first thought. Madeline walked into the room carry two cups of coffee and placed them down and then sat back next to Donna.
“Time for a break I think.”
Donna looked up, smiled and nodded and put down the papers she had been sorting through.
“So tell me apart from all this, how are you? Are you coping?”
“Well I don't know if coping is the word, I just keep thinking how the hell did I get here, you know. It seems like one moment I was in Washington, we working in our little office making some real changes, Margaret was happy at school and I was content with my life with Andrew and then.” Donna slammed her fist down on the table.
“It just makes me so mad, first there was what Andrew did which I still have nightmares over and the fact that the bastard seems to be tying the court case up enough litigation to mean that he won't stand trial until God only know when. The bastard has better chance of dying of old age before we get our day in court and then there is Ray. I can't believe that he has just walked out and left me like this!”
Donna realised the irony of her last statement and began to feel and almost hysterical like laughter fill up her chest. “ Well when I say walk…”
Madeline raised her eyebrows at Donna and then she also began to smirk. The women both began to laugh and after several minutes when their laughter had subdued Madeline began to speak.
“Feel better?”
Donna nodded. “Good, it does you good to vent how you are feeling, laughter and tears both excellent ways of release. I do understand how hard it must be for you, but if anyone can cope then I know that that person is you. Booby has said he will help you look for Ray if that's what you decide to do.”
“I know but if he wants me he know where I am, right were he left me raising his daughter and his son!” Donna said. “Anyway enough about me tell me about you and Bobby. It seems that you two are growing very close.”
“It's early days but he is wonderful and who knows where it will lead.”
“Can I give you a word of warning about Bobby?”
Madeline smiled at her friend and nodded “I know what you are going to say, Pam.”
Donna smiled “Yes Pam, for as long as I have know Bobby he has been in love with Pam. Even through all the years when he was apart I believe he always held a small part of him self away, the part of his heart that was just for Pam. They have both been with other people through the years but the always seem to make there way back to each other. So just be careful with Bobby and don't fall to hard for him. You deserve to be happy and with Bobby well…”
“I know and I appreciate your concern but I am not planning a June wedding or anything, I am just enjoying what I have at the moment. Plus you have to admit he is a hunk, I mean no offence but I think you went after the wrong brother.”
Donna let out a loud laugh and smiled. “You are incorrigible, I should have known what you had on your mind.”
“Hey what's a single girl to do? I have my needs you know and don't think that once you are back on your feet I won't be taking you out on the town. We are in our prime and need to let the rest of the world aware of it.”
The two women laughed again and the began to drift back to the task they were doing and started to once again sort through the papers.
Dallas Memorial Waiting Room
Pamela and Katherine had been directed into the waiting room to wait to see Becky as they walked into the room they were greeted by a JR who was sat waiting.“Well I be dammed,” he said clocking the two women “ are you here to see your other sister, Cinderella?” he asked with a chuckle
“Go to hell JR” Katherine snapped back.
“I would sugar but I heard your sorry excuse of family have filled it up. Hell that no hope of a brother of yours is almost there as we speak isn't he.”
“JR” Pamela said, “Just leave it.”
JR ignored Pam but directed his next comment to her.
“You'll have to get Cliff to keep a place down there warm for your son as well Pamela's, as you know what the bible says about his, erm how shall I put it inclination.
"I take it you know about Christopher?" Pamela said quietly.
"And what sort of role model do you think you made for the boy.” Katherine intervened.
“Well the boy certainly never saw me in my momma's dresses that's for sure.”
“Oh for God sake.” Pamela said suddenly sitting down and putting her face in her hands.
“No he just watched you breaking every rule of common decency.”
“Well thank you for that judgement Joan of Arc.” JR said back with a chortle
"Well, what chance did he have of seeing a loving heterosexual relationship living with you and Sue Ellen? You weren't exactly Romeo and Juliet” Pamela said, her tone now condescending.
"How do you know what Sue Ellen and I were? You weren't here,” JR said, her
eyes bearing through Pamela.
"I know enough to know that you divorced about a year after I left..."
"Pamela" JR said, cutting her off "If Sue Ellen and I weren't Romeo and
Juliet...what does that make you and Bobby? You are Christopher's
parents...not Sue Ellen and I...we did our best for him in light of you abandoning
him and at the end of the day, I have to say, Sue Ellen and I have stayed
together...albeit...in a strange way... a lot longer than you and Bobby
have...."
"Well living with a bastard like you, watching you and your dysfunctional relationships...No wonder he is reluctant to trust women.
With this, JR stood up.“So you admit you are not happy with him being gay, it's sick isn't Pamela.”
“I never said that, what I am saying is..” Pamela tailed off not sure what she was trying to say.”
“What she is saying is that any young man living in your shadow would be effected in a negative way. I mean look at how your own son turned out.” Katherine said.
“Leave John Ross out of this.” JR said the humour suddenly gone from his tone.
"Pamela..." he began " Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have a son at all? My son is lying in a coffin 6 feet under his life just stamped out before he had a chance to determine WHAT he was.... I'm faced with losing my only grandchild...the only tie to John Ross I have left... yet..." JR out stretched his hands, palms facing
upwards while making his point... "Chris has his whole life ahead of him to love and to learn and to enjoy.... John Ross doesn't have that anymore. He's gone.... my son is dead and yours is still here. You should be thankful of that even if he is a sissy.”The room was filled with unexpected emotion. Pamela stood up and walked over to JR and looked at him, she had hated this man for as long as she could remember yet she couldn't help feel compassion for him. She lightly put her hand on his arm; he almost flinched at the contact. He hadn't meant to open up his emotions, especially not in front of these two Barnes women. There were no words that Pam could say not now not to JR. She left her hand on his arm for several moments and the released her grasp and walked out the room.
