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Present“So what was it in Europe that made you change your mind? Was it all the European hunks or was there a special someone?”
Chris still felt a little strange talking about his sexuality with the people he had lied to for so long. It had been so much easier with strangers in Europe.
“I guess it was being anonymous that helped, but then yes I did meet someone.”
“So who was he?”
“His name is Ian. I met him on a job I was doing over in London. We clicked and well one thing led to another. He is independent, strong willed, a little bit wild but with a sensitive side he tries to keep hid. He kind of reminded me of someone.” Chris said with a smile.
As Chris spoke about Ian Becky's eyes were drawn to John Ross's grave.
J ohn Ross and Becky lay by a river looking up at the sky.
"Clouds are amazing don't you think? So pretty" she asked him
John Ross laughed, "They look like mountains"
Becky turned to him "do you believe in God John Ross?" she asks
John Ross laughed, "where did that come from?" he stated.
She smiled and laid back and looked up at the sky "I just wondered, do you?"
"God? I don't know what that means, I mean I would like to believe that there was something, but I guess sometimes you have to wonder, I don't know” he said.
"I don't believe in god, but then I wonder about fate, and maybe fate is god, but I don't know. I mean is it fate that I met you? But I was brought up a Catholic, my grandma Arliss, she became quite a strict Catholic just before she died, but sometimes I look to god to explain how I feel" Becky said.
John Ross turned to her "and how do you feel?" he asked.
Becky smiled "Like I'm crazy sometimes, like I have demons in my head, but when I'm with you they seem to disappear, and I feel safe, but ‘I'm scared to feel afe".
Suddenly there was a clap of thunder and the skies opened with rain.
John Ross went to get up. She pulled his hand back "Don't go John Ross, lets stay here,” she whispered.
John Ross sat back down and the rain dripped down his face. Becky sat back up and looked at him as droplets of rain fall from her hair, and light up her eyes.
They gazed into each other's eyes; he gently wiped the rain from her face. He moved towards her and kissed her. He pulled away and looked at her, she smiled.
"Your so beautiful" he said gently. He held his gaze. "Oh Becky...." he whispered
A tear ran down her cheek. "Say it John Ross, say it"
He shook his head and closed his eyes.
He puts his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back so was on top of her. He looked into her eyes as the rain fell.
"What JohnRoss? What John Ross? She whispered.
He closed his eyes.
"Please John Ross" she said taking heavy breaths as she felt his body touching hers.
John Ross opened his eyes and looked at her and whispered, "I love you Becky, I love you"
He smiled gently.
A clap of thunder echoed out.
They began to kiss and he said, "I love you"
Becky looked at him "I think I'm in love with you, I want to feel you, make love to me"
They begin to kiss passionately as the rain fell”
“And best of all he's just like me. He's not some Jack Mcfarlan type. He doesn't love Cher and musicals.”
Hey don't be so homophobic!” Becky said, Chris's words brining her back to the present.
“Well I may have accepted I am gay but I am still a Texas man, and I can't see me falling into too many of the gay stereotypes any time soon” Chris laughed.
“Well as long as you don't become some macho Texan stereotype, just be yourself okay! You are pretty cool just as you are,” she said softly.
Chris smiled appreciating her words especially at this time more then ever.
“So would you have had stood by me and had the baby with me? That would have been some sacrifice or was it just lip service? Becky said changing the subject and the mood.
“No I was being honest. I did want the baby to be mine and I would have dammed well try to have made it work between us. But in retrospect I think that fate played me a gracious hand that time.”
Becky though about her current situation and about how things could have been different if she had told Chris that the baby was his.
You want to talk? Lets get in the car" she said.
They sat in the front seat of her car.
"I know Becky, I know you are pregnant with my child" Christopher said bluntly.
Becky looked down and took out a cigarette and lit it.
"You shouldn't do that,” Christopher said.
"I will do what I please, don't tell me what to do. You presume too much Christopher" Becky said
"Look you don't need to run away, I love you, we can be together, we can be a family, I want you, I want the baby,” Christopher stated.
Becky laughed
"Get over yourself, this baby isn't yours, John Ross is the father" Becky said
"No, you are lying, you were not together, look Becky, don't be scared of John Ross there are ways to deal with him so we can be together" Christopher replied in a state of desperation.
Becky shook her head. "Listen to me, the baby is not yours, I slept with John Ross, I know its his, because with you I took precautions".
There was silence.
"Does he know about the baby?" Christopher asked in almost a whisper
"That's none of your business, look Christopher, I'm sorry, I really am. It was never my intention to hurt you, but I have, we will never be together, it's just not going to happen. I love John Ross, I always have, I always will. What we had was a moment, just a moment. It's gone, its not going to happen and you're just going to make things worse for everyone by trying to change that. I just don't love you, not in that way" Becky explained.
Christopher looked down as tears welled in his eyes.
"But I love you, I can't change how I feel" he said.
"I'm sorry Christopher, its over. This is difficult for me too, because I know that I care about you, so much. Today I lost my two best friends, I lost you and I've lost the man I love. But, its my fault, now I have to live with that and so do you, you really do" Becky explained opening the car door. She got out, Christopher did the same thing.
"It can't end like this Becky,” he said.
"Goodbye Christopher, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for all of us" she said and walked into the house.
Christopher stood alone; he got into his car and drove off.
Becky stood crying in Afton's arms.
“There as been many times since you have been gone that I thought that if I had only told you the baby was yours then at least I wouldn't have been left alone, a single mum. I guess now that I know the truth I think I was lucky. I don't want that to sound too harsh but being married to a gay man isn't my idea of a good plan for the future. You were playing a dangerous game Christopher.”
“I know. The thing was I didn't see an alternative and I thought that if I could have been with you then I could have made the most of it. it was better then being alone. I know that seems selfish in retrospect of what i have just told you. But don't forget, I may be gay but that doesn't change the way I feel about you. I may be able to be honest know and admit that physically I would rather be with a man but I loved you Becky, always have and always will. It's just that for me being with a man is more natural and well right for me but never doubt my feelings for you. They were always real, I love you.”
“And I love you Mr Ewing and coming from me at this time and place, that's something that carries a lot of weight. I just hope you stay living with your mum and keep away from the vermin at SouthFork.”
“Becky don't be so angry, if you can forgive me then you can make your peace with every thing else that has happened.”
“No way, never! I love you Chris and except that you never did anything with malice but as for the rest of your family well, it will be a cold day in hell. Take my advice and stay with your mum because I would hate for you to get caught in the cross fire.”
“What are you planning Becky?”
“Just heed my warning honey. Anyway I don't expect that your news will go down to well with the macho Ewing men. I take it you haven't told your dad or Uncle JR yet?”
Chris shook his head, “I am not scared to though, I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of.”
“Well good luck because those bastard will make your life hell you mark my words. Becky picked up her bag that was slung on the ground next to where she sat. "Well I've got to go, I need to see my dad before visiting ends.”
Song plays over the final scenes and closing credits
Chris stood and helped Becky up and then the two embraced. Christopher looked at Becky intently and them moved forward and silently placed his lips on hers and kissed her gently, he whispered, “Take care, I love you,” and then pulling away he turned and walked a way.
Becky stood alone by John Ross's grave thinking about everything that had happened.
Pamela sat alone on her sofa with a picture of Christopher as a child on her lap crying quietly.
Christopher drove his car down the familiar road towards his home, SouthFork.
The song plays out as Chris's car drives down the road to SouthFork as the screen fades to black and the credits roll.
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