Somewhere in Dallas, at the Venezuelan Consulate (we have one of those in Texas?), Vincente is meeting with the Consul General. He informs Vincente that knows he’s evil, but because he has powerful friends in Caracas, he’s being extradited back to Venezuela by tomorrow. Vincente confers with his cohorts, “everything is set for tomorrow? Yes? Good. It wouldn’t be right to leave Dallas without giving the Ewings a proper goodbye.” Everyone at home remembers the previews of this week and the gun swinging thats abut to take place, we all collectively worry if this will be the end of J.R.
Preggers and Chrissypoo are elsewhere in a lawyers office having mediation. Pamela agrees to the annulment and joint custody of the twins as long as she can have 10% of Ewing Energies. Done deal and off they go. Pamela will later break the news to John Ross that she will have to go back on their deal to give him her shares of Ewing Energies. She looks ill and John Ross says, “Please tell me that look is just morning sickness. At night,” she admits to him that its what is best for her children, “I can’t be at war with their father”. John Ross laughs at her nonsense, not really believing her, “Just the thought of making him suffer is what gets you out of bed in the morning.” She doesn’t answer and he responds, “you wanna play dirty? Game on.”
John Ross and Sue Ellen discuss the moral clause in Elena’s contract, he thinks if Drew can get convicted of a felony, they can take over Elena’s shares since Drew is “key personnel” on the Henderson rigs. Sue Ellen, knowing her son, inquires, “did you set up Drew?” He answers, “No, he hasn’t changed. I just made sure he got caught.”
Our time with the astonishingly talented Larry Hagman is coming to a close as J.R. only appears in one scene this episode. We have the “deleted scene” that was promised of some woman showing J.R. how to use his iPad, “Apps?”, “Yes I even gave you Angry Birds!” “Honey, I don’t need any more angry birds”. Oh how I laughed, Larry delivers lines like no other. The next scene we “see” of J.R. is in instant message form. Bobby is in his study and J.R. is sending him messages, prompting a hilarious “J.R. stop messaging me from your room!” HAHAHAHAHA 21st Century Bobby & J.R. are quite hysterical. “Then check your damn email! I’m trying to cheer you up!” Comes via instant message from J.R…. a video of dogs playing basketball, “yeah its great. Now leave me alone, and get a hobby.”… J.R.’s insta message response, That’s a wink. Get it?” OH MY! J.R. is winking via technology, how adorable! Theses scenes warm my heart and sadden me all at the same time. I think about what could have been and how cute older Bobby and J.R. can be together. Oddly though I thought to myself that Larry was winking at all of us from Heaven, telling us that even dead he’s can still make us smile.
Back in the courthouse, we know everyone is there to give character references in regards to hoping that the jury will be light on sentencing. Bobby recounts their courtship, mostly on horseback. He talks about how good she was with the horses, her work with battered women and how sweet she is. Harris interrupts their tender hug with his nastiness, “You savor that tender moment, you two, because it might be your last without a dirty sheet of Plexiglass between you for the next 20 years”. Sweet isn’t he?
Bobby approaches Emma at her training facility and lets her know that “you have another family, at Southfork. If you ever need anything, we’re there.” She takes a moment before letting him know she won’t be needing anything, then uncomfortably pushes her hair back. Bobby is taken aback by the gesture and notes that was “just like your mom”. Emma seems a bit flustered. Bobby must get through to her somehow as next we see her, she’s on the other side of that dirty plexiglass looking at Ann. She doesn’t say why she’s there, but Ann begins to tell her a story about how controlling Harris used to be. She once got highlights and was so paranoid of his reaction that she dyed her hair back before she got home. He knew anyway and made her feel stupid and worthless. She has a feeling Emma knows what she means. There is a nice slow development in this story… on a show where everything happens so quickly, it’s nice to have this slow moving relationship progressing in the background. And if Emma Bell and Kuno Becker’s picture tweets are any indication, Emma will be back at Southfork and mixing it up with Drew before we know it.
Speaking of Drew, it appears Christopher’s moral berating is not only reserved for John Ross as I had thought. There he was hopped up on that soap box of his, ripping into Drew for being irresponsible. Previously, I hadn’t cared much for Drew, but as predicted, he is growing on me. I wanted to jump into the tv screen and slap Christopher for him. That self-righteous garbage is so annoying. Bobby was always the good one, but this holier-than-thou act Chris has going on is definitely not very Bobbyesque. Drew tries to explain that he was set up with the broken taillight. Christopher considers what he has to say and has his secretary pull the Sue Ellen/Elena agreement. He’s a quick one, and figures out that John Ross’ is the one trying to screw Elena out of her shares via the moral clause in the contract. He tries to warn Elena, but alas it is too late. Drew has already signed the plea bargain. Sad. Not really.
Now is when the good stuff begins… Pamela signs her annulment papers and receives a package with the ultrasounds in it. She takes off to bring them to Christopher herself (aka headed to Southfork). Vincente is leaving the embassy and makes sure his henchmen have everything ready, “you have two hours, max, before the general counsel will be notified of your escape.”
Christopher, Elena, Bobby, Sue Ellen and John Ross are arguing about Sue Ellen taking Elena’s shares of Ewing Energies. Christopher, of course, delivering condescending lines like “You’re a sociopath, just like your father” to John Ross. Bobby is the one who finally realizes that this was all J.R. and he rushes to his bedroom… I know I’m not alone in saying that I was holding my breath the entire time thinking, “this is it. It’s over. They’re going to find him”… only there’s no one in the room and the bed doesn’t even look slept in. Bobby moves on to plan B and heads back to his office, everyone in tow. This is quite amusing, like a Scooby Doo episode “Find J.R.”… he grabs up his laptop and inserts the thumb drive that holds all that nasty evidence against J.R., but… all of a sudden the drive starts erasing and Bobby cannot stop it. THE EMAIL! Oh that J.R., he sure is hilarious! Remember the last time we saw him with the iPad, he told John Ross he was working on a way to get rid of the evidence? Voila!
While all of this mayhem is going on, black cars pull up outside of Southfork, along with a clueless Pamela. She gets snatched up by Vincente so she cannot warn the Ewings. John Ross and Chrissypoo are about to throttle each other when Vincente bursts through the door, Pamela in hand. John Ross attempts to stand up to Vincente but is met with a fist to the face (this guy has been punched more times than I can count). He threatens Pamela but then from a few glances realizes that Christopher is back with Elena, he gets great amusement from this and turns his gun on Elena. He tells Chris he has 1 hour to get the methane-extraction equipment and plans from Ewing Energies and bring it back to him or its curtains for Elena (oh pleasseeeeee).
Back at the court house, Ann begins to worry that Bobby isn’t there yet. She takes the stand and again talks about Ryland’s manipulations of her and that she shot him because she felt powerless in the quest to win Emma back. She begs Emma for a seconds chance and you get the feeling Emma may be considering it. I really wanted Emma to jump up and defy her father in the middle of the court room, exclaiming that she wanted to get to know her mother, please don’t send her away. Alas that did not happen, but what did happen is the jury sentences Ann to PROBABTION! WHAT?! WHOO HOO!!! THe judge is all sorts of excited by this outcome and when Harris and Cruella attempt to protest, he says, “You took away her daughter and made her believe she was dead. Hell, if you’d done that to me, I might have shot you, too. You’re not the victim here, Mr Ryalnd, not by a long shot”. How fantastic! Ann is still concerned that Bobby hasn’t shown up, however doesn’t think to call and send one of their police buddies out to check on the ranch.
Back at Southfork, everyone is having those, “this might be our last few minutes” discussions. Elena wants to know why John Ross betrayed her, “you broke my heart… the day you stopped seeing the good in me is the day it died”. Sue Ellen and Bobby talk about the Ewing cycle, “J.R. does bad, you do good, and repeat. It’s a vicious cycle our sons seem destined to continue. It’s the Ewing way”. John Ross asks Pamela why she went back on their deal, she admits that “I may be the President of Barnes Global, but my father is still CEO… was it really just revenge sex for you, John Ross?”… “Revenge sex was all I could afford”. Overall this whole hostage crisis was slightly boresome. Christopher attempts to take out the henchman that has accompanied him to Ewing Energies, to no avail. He returns with the methane stuff, but Vincente decides to take Elena with him, to help figure out how to use the darned thing. John Ross and Christopher fake a fight with each other and all the Ewing’s join in to take out the henchman. Vincente is already outside with Elena and just as he’s about to run off to the helicopter, Drew comes out of nowhere and takes him out with his sniper rifle. Christopher and John Ross give each other a “glad you’re not dead” nod and Chrissypoo runs outside to Elena, never mind Pamela, you know the chick pregnant with your twins…. John Ross checks in on her, even kissing her on the forehead (this would be so awww if she wasn’t a Barnes). Ann comes home and embraces Bobby, telling him about probation, but not asking what the hell is going on and why there are police officers at her home. And no one even so much as wonders where J.R. is???
The final scene is John Ross introducing Sue Ellen as Ewing Energies newest board member. Bobby is shocked that even after the hostage crisis, Sue Ellen is still taking Elena’s shares. “Shake it off Uncle Bobby, today’s a new day and we got work to do”. Bobby is not pleased, “I never go looking for a fight, but when one finds me I sure as hell finish it, and they are in for the fight of their lives”. Things are heating up at Southfork.
At the end of the episode came the saddest preview for an upcoming show I have ever watched… the end of J.R. Ewing.