False Confessions was another ride on the long and winding road that is Dallas! Again there was so much that happened tonight, blink and you might miss a plot point. Let’s get right to it, shall we! The episode picks up directly where it left off, Harris is lying on the floor bleeding and Mama Judith returns home calling for him. She’s stumbling around and pulling off her heels, calling out for him like a drunken lover who’s just returned home. She finds him on the floor and begins wailing. I must give her kudos for being the only actress I have ever witnessed that didn’t screech at a high pitched, dog whistle like volume during one of these scenes. She calls out for Emma to call an ambulance… wait Emma? Emma is home? She didn’t hear any gun shots? She didn’t run downstairs? I’m confused. But alas Emma never shows up in the episode so we don’t actually know.
Ann runs home and rushes to her bathroom to begin washing her hands; Bobby follows her in a panic, sees the gun on the counter and she confesses to him “I shot him”. Cue rapping on the front door. Who’s at the door? It’s the cops, come to question Ann about the shooting at Ryland’s place, her car was seen leaving the house. So I’m confused… how far away do the Ewing’s live from the Ryland’s? Like 2 hours? How did the cops get to Harris’ house, question someone, anyone.. procure information that it was Ann’s car seen leaving the house AND make it to Southfork all within the same time as Ann? Whatever…either way they come in to question her and she stupidly says “He’s not dead?”… apparently that isn’t evidence enough to the cops that she shot him and Bobby jumps in and confesses it was him. Ann protests but again the cops aren’t suspicious of her at all. Christopher comes in all confused and Bobby asks for a moment alone with his wife. He tells Ann & Chrissypoo it will be alright, they’ll figure it out. This is the only way she’ll ever be able to have a relationship with Emma. If she thinks Ann shot her father it’s all over. I don’t care how much I love my Step-Mama, if I was Christopher I’d be pissed. Bobby’s just too good.
Frank digs up Tommy’s body and gives J.R. a call. He tells him that the deal is on; J.R. will get Tommy’s body in exchange for getting rid of Pamela for good. Oh and uh “your son is in bed with Pamela Barnes”. Frank outs John Ross to J.R. who looks really mad! Frank had previously been at Rebec.. I mean Pamela’s (this is confusing) apartment and witnessed a tousled bed-headed John Ross slinking out of the bedroom.
Bobby gets arraigned and his bail is set at 1 million, whooo steep! Patrick Duffy does look lovely in orange though. John Ross shows up to see J.R. and asks if Bobby’s arrest can somehow help them take over Ewing Energies. J.R. looks at him like he’s going to take him over the knee and paddle him with Ms. Ellie’s wooden spoon! When families in trouble, you don’t take advantage! One thing you can say about the Ewing’s… they can trash each other, drag each other down, maybe even kill each other.. but if someone else so much as lays a hand in their business, they’re like a pack of wolves. J.R. isn’t going to let Harris Ryland harm his little brother, nor is he going to let his son take advantage. John Ross wants to know why Daddy is so ornery and J.R. reveals he is aware of John Ross’ cavorting with Pamela Barnes, “what do you want with Christopher’s scraps anyway?”. We have been asking the same question J.R. Junior assures him that’s its all part of the plan to take her shares of Ewing Energies in her divorce. J.R. informs sonny boy that he has other plans and Cliff’s right hand, Frank is helping out.
John Ross calls up Mama- SUE ELLEN! I love this lady, can she be in every scene? She meets him at the office, not sure that was a great place to meet but whatevs and asks her to get him in touch with Cliff Barnes, but she can’t ask why. She asks Why? She then warns him that crossing his father is a very BAD IDEA. She has been on the other end of J.R.’s wrath and it’s not a pretty side to be on. Sue Ellen reminds him that sometimes he forgets that half of him is her, awwww. John Ross assures Mama that what he’s protecting is worth it… really? Pamela? There has to be some sinister scheme here at work right? Or is he actually falling for this girl? Again, ew. She’s pregnant…with his cousins twins… ew. Just ew.
Drew has gotten right to work as per Elena’s request. Unfortunately for John Ross, he notices that Brian is not drilling correctly and when they argue, he fires Brian. Brian then decides its a good idea to show up at the Ewing Energies office and talk to John Ross… because that’s not suspicious AT ALL. When Christopher sees him, he says he’s there to see Elena, but of course Chris is already wary. This makes for a hilarious tete-a-tete between the cousins. Elena is angry that Drew fired Brian but when he shows her the schematics of the drilling operation, she sees he was right. He just wants to prove himself to her. Sidebar: I really love Jordana Brewster, The Fast/Furious franchise is one of my favorite things ever. BUT for some reason, I just cannot get into Elena. She seems so flat and boring. She was barely in this episode and I honestly didn’t even notice. All the other characters completely outshine her (this is just my opinion) and I know it cannot be Jordana so I will blame the writers. SPICE HER UP FOR GOD’S SAKE!
Back at Southfork, it appears that the $1 million bail was nothing for the Ewings as Bobby and J.R. are sipping whiskey in the office. They wax on about how in the old days they would shoot em back for no reason at all. J.R. asks if Bobby really did it, or if he’s covering for “that trigger happy wife of yours”. Ahh J.R., he’s so astute. He knows his little brother so well. He also knows that there will be no talking Bobby out of it, but if his services are required, he’ll call in a favor from a judge. This was a nice brother moment… makes me realize how much I’ll miss these moments in a very short time.
John Ross and Cliff meet at a concert venue? He clues Cliff in on the J.R./Frank alliance. He is reluctant to believe it since Frank has been family for 25 years but he takes the warning. He also tells John Ross that crossing his father, especially for Cliff is a very bad idea. When he asks why, John Ross says because someone needs to be looking out for Pamela. Very noble of you John Ross… I guess.
Christopher is questioning Brian about his convo with John Ross earlier when the news announces that the body of Tommy Sutter has been found. Pamela panics and leaves Frank a frantic voicemail, then calls up- someone- “I need to speak to my father immediately”. Elena finds Christopher drinking and looking in the mirror (um shallow?) and asks whats wrong. He says that he wants Pamela out of his and the twins’ lives but he doesn’t believe she murdered Tommy. Christopher, you are incorrect. Lou, Bobby’s attorney, arrives and tells him that he can’t represent Bobby because he was present when Bobby threatened Ryland, but he’s gotten him a nice replacement.
We return to Hamlet and Gertrude, I mean Harris and Judith. She is cooing over him and giving him a sponge bath. She assures him she is going to take Bobby away from Ann, the same way Ann took him from her all those years ago. CREEPY!!!!!
CSI: Dallas, a new show premiering this summer (just kidding) sets up camp in the woods where the body was found. While the cops are searching around, there is a really great song playing in the background, something about “devil’s a liar” and most of us are pretty certain that Josh Henderson is the one singing, some of his new music promised to be played this season (still waiting on confirmation of that). They find the gun in the leaves and then there is this great bait and hook scene swap that goes down. Pamela is rushing around and packing her bags, the cops are barreling down a hallway, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK… the door to Pamela’s penthouse opens and its-> Cliff Barnes! The cops are actually arresting Frank for the murder of Tommy Sutter! Frank looks seriously confused. Huh? What? Wait a min-ooooo J.R. planted the body, but Cliff planted the gun. Sneaky, sneaky Mr Barnes.
John Ross sends Clyde out to spy on Drew, he wants some information that could get Elena to fire her brother. Clyde finds Drew talking to some guy about a sketchy truck delivery to Laredo that pays a handsome fee. He hops into the truck and off he goes, Clyde calls up John Ross and tells him that Drew is up to something and it doesn’t look legal. Thank you for the glaringly obvious point out. I don’t trust Drew and I quite honestly don’t care. I mean, I might care further down the road, but right now he’s taking precious screen time away from more important matters.
Cliff pays Frank a visit in jail and gives him a good knuckle wrapping. Why would he betray Cliff, after all they have been family, Cliff rescued him. If he had a problem with Pamela, why didn’t he just come to him? Frank seems genuinely upset that all of this has gone down the way it did and not just because he’s now taking the fall. Cliff, very Godfather like, tells Frank that his family will be taken care of, but you brought this on yourself, you should do the honorable thing, and you should do it for me. Cliff gives him a fatherly hug and leaves.
Bobby and Christopher are arguing over him taking the fall for Ann and they decide that Ann is going to come clean. Simultaneously, Harris has woken up and he tells the cops that it was Bobby that shot him. Judith looks very pleased with herself.
At Frank’s arraignment, the judge asks for a plea and he wants to say something. He tells the court that Tommy Sutter coerced Pamela into conning the Ewing family and that when he threatened Pamela, Frank killed him. He also admits to killing the real Rebecca Sutter. “I have disgraced my family. I only hope they will see the honor in my confession and one day forgive me,” The courtroom goes nuts, mostly Christopher is yelling like a banshee and the judge is trying to tell him to shut his trap. Frank pulls out a little orange pill and pops it in his mouth. Cue slow-mo death scene as Frank keels over and dies. That Cliff Barnes sure is evil, must have slipped Frank the pill during that hug.
Outstanding performances from Larry Hagman, Josh Henderson, Faran Tahir, and Ken Kercheval. Next weeks episode, episode 5, is the last of Larry’s filmed performance. Episode 6 will have a scene that was going to be deleted or saved for later on down the road. Our time with our beloved J.R. Ewing is running extremely short
Quotes from the Night:
“Noooooooooo! Don’t you leave me! Mama’s here!” CREEPY Judith
“I’ll have two OJs and some strawberry pancakes. Oh, sorry, Frank. You looked like the butler.” John Ross to Frank at Pamela’s apartment
“You’ve still got a lot to learn, boy. When the family’s in trouble, we don’t take advantage.” J.R. to John Ross
“What do you want with Christopher’s scraps, anyway?…You’re inviting a vampire into our home, and she’ll suck the life out of you.” J.R. to John Ross
“I think it’s so cute how you two agree about everything.” John Ross “It’s gonna make it so much easier when we’re picking out china patterns.” Christopher “Make sure I know where you’re registered.” John Ross (love this dialogue)
“Are you just protecting that trigger-happy wife of yours?” J.R. to Bobby
“No baby brother of mine is going to spend his twilight years in jail.” J.R. to Bobby
“I have a scar from when he threw a toy truck at my head.” Sue Ellen talking to Ann about having a child that hates her.
“I’m going to take him away from her the way she took you away from me so many years ago. … Get your rest, and when you awake, you will be king once more.” Creepy, creepy Judith to sleeping Harris
“Just because he’s a pussy doesn’t mean he ain’t smart. … It’s good that he thinks he has a chance. It’ll hurt more when he loses.” John Ross to Brian
“The truth has a way of popping up when you least expect it.” Christopher to Bobby
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