Review E7 “Collateral Damage”

WOW, WOW, and MORE WOW!!!! I don’t even know where to begin….

The episode opens with Christopher riding through Southfork, looking quite handsome in his cowboy hat! He stops at the “lovers” tree and glimpses the names, Ellie & Jock, Ann & Bobby (leading us to wonder if Bobby carved out the Bobby & Pam) and then he sees Chris & Elena- awwwwww! Christopher is obviously regretting his unkind words to Elena. So much so that moments later, he gives the John Ross/Veronica sex DVD back to John Ross reminding him that even though he fights fair, he is going to fight; for Southfork and Elena!!! I always love Christopher/John Ross interactions. I want for the day that they have to join forces, I think these two would make a great team!

Apparently it’s cold at Southfork because everyone is wearing jackets and sweaters, which is making me even hotter considering today it was 95 degrees out!!!

Um Rebecca, did you actually show up at Elena’s house with a gift basket????? Who does that??? “I’m sorry I scammed the love of your life into marrying me, but here’s some fruit, enjoy! And by the way can I throw up in your bathroom?” Elena is slick because she figures this out quickly, apparently it was the nose bleed that gave it away?? Again, I have never heard of someone getting a nosebleed while pregnant…who wrote that? This scene makes me think Elena and Rebecca would make good friends, that is of course if Rebecca wasn’t a scamming biotch.

Ann, clad in her latest Native American garb is creepily hanging out at a playground and lying to Bobby about shopping. This all points to what most fans have deduced about her big secret, something to do with a child.

Always great to see Lucy, even if it is in a pointless scene with John Ross! I’ll take it, considering how handsome Josh Henderson looked in this scene. In all fairness to those complaining about the lack of screen time Linda Gray has gotten, this whole interaction was absolutely pointless. It would have been more effective if Lucy was able to get Uncle Gary to sign over his rights… but later on we see her leaving Bobby’s office, so no dice for John Ross… while I love Charlene Tilton, I can’t help but wonder if we really needed these scenes… maybe she’ll come up big for John Ross in the future.

Ahhh the old, help the girl with her broken car move! Christopher attempts to help Elena fix up her pick-up… “any sparks?”… ahh the writers really love the double entendre on this show! Yes Christopher, sparks between you and Elena.. Thank’s guys we get it, they’re still into each other; give us some credit please? Christopher apologizes for being a pompous ass… he says he should have gone looking for her after their almost wedding.. Elena blurts out that Rebecca is pregnant, good job.

I’m curious as to why Bobby isn’t making John Ross do all this work, considering it’s his land now… either way, the cops show up and arrest Bobby for assaulting Harris Ryland! Oh Harris, you sneaky thing you! Best part is, he’s willing to make a deal, all Harris wants is an apology. This guy is great! He might be more sadistic and conniving than JR Ewing himself. I can’t wait to see more of him. Oh an Bum’s got a record, no surprise there.

Christopher shows up at Rebecca’s apartment, smug and nasty. “This is just another ruse. This is just another ploy” who still says ruse? ploy?… bad adjectives writing staff. Rebecca is tired of Chris’ nasty tone and she throws his adoption in his face. Tsk tsk, not nice Beccs!

The lady doth protest too much, Ann is waaaayyyyy too much on Rebecca’s side for my taste. I definitely think whatever she’s hiding has to do with a child, considering how she freaked out on Christopher about Rebecca and the baby. Christopher annouces they’re getting a paternity test and Ann nearly takes his head off. Bobby lets her know how he “slapped Harris around a little” and she freaks out about that too… what the hell!!

John Ross professes his love to Elena, she keeps him grounded… but alas Crazy Pants is in the building!!! John Ross can’t find Marta/Veronica but he does get summoned by Vincente to a meeting. Vincente is not pleased that John Ross cannot drill oil and once again threatens to take Southfork if he doesn’t get the oil soon. Whenever Josh Henderson wears blue, you can really see the green eye/blue eye sexiness he has going on! John Ross sells “Marta” down the river, telling Vincente that she skimmed money off the deal and pocketed the cash. He asks him to “deal with” her. Bad idea to get into bed with this guy John Ross!!

After John Ross realized Lucy isn’t going to help him out with Uncle Gary, he goes to Sue Ellen. YAY Linda Gray scenes!!! She wonders why he didn’t come to her in the first place and she suggests he ask Elena for some oil from the Henderson property to hold over Vincente. John Ross was very vulnerable this episode, Josh plays him so well. This is why he’s my favorite character, I understand him. He’s not evil like JR..he just wants to be LOVED!!!! Awww I love you John Ross!!!

JR pops up for a quick second for a chat with Bum about John Ross and Cliff’s driver. Apparently the driver is from Islamabad, why in the hell Cliff Barnes was in Islamabad- who knows.

Sue Ellen has lunch with Elena and asks her for the oil for John Ross. Elena spews her whole I don’t wanna be involved in the JR/Bobby war. She questions Sue Ellen about whether or not she cares about Bobby and Christopher… Sue Ellen reminds her that when it comes to choosing between your child and someone else, there’s only one choice to make.

Bobby “apologizes” to Harris for the attack and Harris sends him off with an envelope explaining all he needs to know about Ann. I’m not gonna lie, if that was me, I would rip that envelope open the second I got in the car!

Crazy Pants steals Elena’s phone and calls John Ross, making him think she has Elena in some hotel. John Ross takes off, only to find that Elena isn’t there, just Marta/Veronica… I am again confused as to why he calls her Marta when he knows her real name????? Marta/Veronica begs for his help from Vincente’s people. She’s filming their encounter, as usual, and they tussle over Elena’s cell phone. In the process, he throws her down and she scratches his neck. John Ross leaves the hotel room and passes Vincente’s men in the hallway, and out the front door he goes.. at which point I look at my mother and say “she’s gonna be on the concrete”.. sure enough, there’s Marta on the hood of a car in front of the hotel. Eeekkkk this is bad for John Ross!!! And this means no more Crazy Pants! I kinda liked her!

The audience is well aware that Elena is fine and at home since Christopher shows up at her place basically asking for another chance. She admits that she still wants to be with him, but she’s making it work with John Ross and Christopher is having a child. This is why Elena annoys the crap out of me, she doesn’t love John Ross- its not fair to him! BOOO ELENA!!!!

Christopher, Bobby, and Ann head over to the doctor’s office to get the results of the paternity test they did on the baby… or should I say babies. Not only is the baby definitely Christopher’s, but it’s also definitely twins! Christopher tears up when he sees the ultrasound, clearly he is finally moved by the prospect of being a Daddy. He still shies from Rebecca when she reaches for his hand. Bobby and Ann witness this tender moment and Ann gets all sobby (again alluding to the big secret).

Back to that envelope, Bobby, being the kind soul he is, never even opens it up. He tells Ann about the envelope and that all he needs to know about her, he already knows. Then he tosses it in the fireplace. I was really hoping he would toss that hideous painting above the fireplace in to burn too… And what is burning in the envelope, a picture of a woman holding a baby! Ann holding Rebecca perhaps???

John Ross is all rattled after finding Marta/Veronica dead and he runs homes to Elena. Visibly upset he is hugging her when the cops show up. Bobby thinks they’re there about the Harris debacle but no… they’re here for John Ross, for questioning in “the murder of Veronica Martinez, I think you know her as Marta Del Sol” Uh oh! Elena looks like she’s about to jump ship on John Ross AGAIN!!

I can’t wait until next week! It looks sooo amazing!!! Kudos to the entire cast tonight, this episode was fantastic!! Only 2 episodes remain until the Season Finale!!!

Moments from the episode:

“Don’t you have some cows to go birth?”

“this is just another ruse”

PS: Patrick Duffy tweeted me earlier this week that filming for Season 2 begins the end of September!!! Hopefully that means Season 2 will air sooner than Summer ’13!!

Review by mimic1019

You can check out my blog at http://mimic1019.wordpress.com

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