Sue Ellen's Diary

October 28, 1967

Dear Journal:

J.R. invited me out to Southfork again this weekend. This time, he surprised me with my own horse! As J.R. drove up the long black drive-way he kept looking at me and grinning. I was so nervous as J.R. is very unpredictable and likes to have fun. J.R. grabbed my hand and held it very tight. He looked deep into my eyes and said he had a big surprise for me. He stopped the car and opened up my door. He asked me to close my eyes. I held very tightly to his arm as he led me towards the stables. I was shaking as we walked down past the fence line. We came to a stop and then he said he was ready for my surprise. He asked me to open my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I saw right in front of me! It was the most beautiful black horse I’ve ever seen. He said the horse was all mine. He said I could name the horse any name I liked. I said I would give the horse a name by the end of the day. J.R. helped me up on top of the horse. Once I grabbed the horses's reigns I just started to laugh with excitement.

J.R. said he would like to walk the horse so I could get used to him. I felt so free and also so safe with J.R. at that very moment. We walked the horses out to the north pasture. J.R. took me to one of his favorite spots - the tree house he Bobby, and Gary played in. He told me he was taking me to one of his most private spots on Southfork. We came across some tall trees and I could see a house of some sorts built up in a tree top. J.R.’s horse and mine came to a complete stop. We both got off our horses and climbed up into the tree house. J.R. told me some stories of how he and his two brothers would hide from Jock whenever they got into trouble. I have a feeling that J.R. was always up to no good when he was younger. J.R. shared with me so many private things about his childhood today. I feel so much more closer to J.R. I am amazed at how much he trusts me with his deepest thoughts. He loves both his brothers. But I can see that look in his eyes whenever he speaks of them. He seems to have a connection of sorts with Bobby. He has a real admiration of him. He speaks about Gary as an artist, and mostly a dreamer. I just sat mezmerized by J.R.'s stories of his childhood. He noticed me looking into his eyes a few times and stopped talking. I haven't let J.R. kiss me very much or get too physical with me. My momma told me to keep a man waiting and wanting. I had brought some wildflowers with me that I picked once I got off the horse. J.R. grabbed one of the flowers and started to rub the flower up and down my arms. It felt so soft against my skin. I closed my eyes and I felt J.R. move closer to me. He grabbed my chin and pulled me closer to his face. He kissed me for quite a while. I had to pull away from J.R. as he overwhelms me with his passion. I told him I wanted to go slow with our relationship. He said he was willing to wait until I was ready to go forward. He said I was worth the wait. We only stayed up in the tree house for a little while. J.R. wanted to show me more of Southfork and promised to get me back to the main house before his momma would start to worry about us. She was making a nice dinner for my visit and I didn’t want to disappoint her by being alone with J.R for so long. We spent another hour riding our horses and covering most of the north section. I never imagined how vast the land is around Southfork. I think the land goes on and on for miles. I told J.R. I wanted to go for another ride again next weekend. I wanted him to show me more of Southfork and to take me back to the tree house, too. He just smiled at me and said I have very good ideas.

November 3, 1967

Dear Journal:

J.R. invited me to Southfork to a fundraiser for the Daughters of the Alamo. Miss Ellie is the President and wanted me to help MC the event. Being Miss Texas, I told her I would help in anyway I could. Momma and Kristin are coming up for a visit. I asked if they could also come and see Southfork and also watch the event. Of course, momma will be able to meet the rest of the Ewings. Momma still thinks I should start dating Billy Frampton as he is rich in oil, coal, diamonds and uranium. A very vast empire my momma would want me to be a big part of. I just am not interested in Billy Frampton. He is a womanizer and an a power-hungry young man. I don’t think I would be very happy being married to him.

I am looking forward to this event. Miss Ellie said that I could stay at Southfork, chaperoned by my momma of course. Also, J.R. will be there and I can’t wait to see him.

November 12, 1967

Dear Journal:

Today was the fundraiser for the DOA. I got to Southfork early so I could spend some time with J.R. J.R. left a note with some wildflowers and told me to secretly meet him at the tree house. He said he wanted to be alone with me for a while. I rode my horse and met him at the tree house. When he heard me riding up to the tree house, J.R. looked out the window of the tree house and called out my new name - Yellow Rose of Texas. I still had the wildflowers that J.R. picked for me. I climbed up the ladder and when he saw me he took me into his arms and kissed me very passionately. It is so hard for me to maintain my ladylike reserve whenever I’m with J.R. He makes me so dizzy with desire at times. This time, I let J.R. kiss me longer than he did before. I dropped the wildflowers on the hardwood floor. I have never kissed anyone so passionately as I did J.R. I had to pull away as we were both getting so passionate with each other. J.R. just wiped away my kiss from his mouth and started to laugh. He said I went a little further with him today and he liked it. I said I would only let him kiss me and that was as far as I would go. J.R. said that he just wanted to sit next to me for a little while and feel the wind blow in through the window. I sat up and straightened up my dress. J.R. said I shouldn’t worry about such things. He smiled at me when I straightened up my dress. He said that he's never been with any other woman that only wanted to go as far as a kiss. He said he had respect for me. I got a little flustered with him when he said that. But, J.R. assured me that I was the only woman in his life now and for a long time to come.

So, J.R. and I sat in the treehouse holding hands and talking about the day he took Bobby's personal jouranl and rode all the way to the treehouse waiting for Bobby to find him. He said that he almost was able to read Bobby's journal when he heard Bobby threaten him that he was going to "pound" J.R. but good if he didn't throw down his journal. J.R. said that Bobby always had a bad temper as a boy and J.R. didn't want to push Bobby any further than a near fatal blows, so he threw down Bobby's journal. Bobby rode off hard on his horse and J.R. just sat there laughing at what he did to Bobby.

J.R. said it was getting late and that we should go back to the ranch. The fundraiser was about to start. I also told him that my momma would be looking for me. J.R. said that he would ride with me back to the ranch and that we could meet later again this time quietly by the pool after the fundraiser. I told him I would with a smile. We ended up getting back at the ranch and at the nick of time - my momma WAS looking for me. She doesn’t care much for J.R. I’m afraid. I don’t know why. She must have wondered where J.R. and I went off to. I didn’t tell her a thing as I just looked back at J.R. and smiled at him. J.R. is such a charmer. He grabbed my momma’s arm and took her for a tour of the stables. I had to hurry up and find Miss Ellie as I needed to study my speech for the announcement of the fundraiser. I also had to find my crown and get it on top of my head before doing anything. When J.R. got back with my momma, I was standing there talking to Jock. J.R. just looked into my eyes and smiled at me. He said I looked just like a beautiful princess with the crown on my head. I felt just like one.